> Wake up, again

[bathymetric]

[Whether you've met an unfortunately end on the SS Swift, or deep in the depths, wrapped in the crushing tentacles of the kraken... You're not there anymore. You also don't seem to be dead. Maybe. It's difficult to tell, seeing as you no longer have any of the injuries you sustained on the ship... But you're also no longer on the ship.

Your eyes awaken to a cloudless sky, and a dry, dry, desert. A weak breeze struggles to blow even the dust from the cracked earth. There isn't a drop of water for miles around.

But what is around... is a ship. About a dozen yards away from where you've awoken is a tall, two-mast galleon, beached on the wastes, listing to the right.

How did it get here? Who knows. How did YOU get here?

Might be questions for a later time, seeing as you're waking up with your murderer.

Welcome to the Locker.]


[Map courtesy of Carmen Sandiego]

Comments

[heroantagonist]

The ritual to open... a Vault.

[...]

Massive, ancient vaults, built by aliens and containing all the money, loot, and power you could ever want? Guarded by some badass monster, typically? Do you know how much it takes to open one of those babies?

[thisaroma]

[ glances to Alice at the power part... ]

[conceivesfrenzy]

[ She doesn't look at him, pretty intently focused on Jack as soon as he mentions that. ]

[sharddrive]

Question, did whoever told you about this thing also offer to sell you some magic beans?

[heroantagonist]

Oh ha-ha, they're real, jackass! I've stood in a couple of em myself.

They're all over the galaxy, and one just to happened to be here, on this puny planet. Problem is, you have to find out just how to open one.

Now, you wanna guess how you open this vault?

[onlyyoucan]

Not just death, a specific kind of death. With a template you inherited. Right?

[heroantagonist]

With a template that I, myself, and me alone, with nobody's help totally came up with.

[...]

Okay, Chuckie helped. A little.

[onlyyoucan]

We'll deal with him later. He must've done it before if he gave it to you, unless he's just seen it.

[conceivesfrenzy]

[ However pissed off she happened to be up until now (offscreen), that seems to evaporate when he talks about vaults and what they supposedly entail. ]

By sacrificing a bunch of people's lives, I'm guessing?

[ She sounds very intrigued. ]

[leaveittomother]

Isn't that normal for this sort of thing?

[heroantagonist]

[Finger-snaps at her.]

This one's got it. From what I know, the ritual involves, sacrificing a bunch of people to bring the vault out. You do that, you go in, you get the treasure and everything's all sunshine and roses.

That's why I wanted to kill all of you losers as fast as possible. And don't even get me started on the whole going back in time thing!

[conceivesfrenzy]

Hm. Interesting.

[ Just gonna... file that away... ]

How'd you do that whole loop thing, anyway? I've never seen anything like that.

[scouserer]

...I'm guessing the vault was somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle, then.

[He can put two and two together, sometimes!]

By the way, I nipped a glance at that blueprint on your desk a few weeks before. I figure that's how you got us all here, huh? Where'd you get your hands on something like that?

[sharddrive]

Well clearly not by being a gullible clown, or you'd have it nailed.

[silentscout]

[Vault? Is that the thing that the books were stored in back home???]

We always just opened those with a crowbar.

[heroantagonist]

Think bigger, kid.

Like mountain-sized vault.

[silentscout]

There's still better ways than killing people.

[And then, after seeing what Jack said to Shard:]

Do you even have any experience with rituals? You don't look like a mage.

[heroantagonist]

Hey, I couldn't exactly take "Ancient Voodoo Rituals" as a starter course at my local college. I had to learn fast, and voodoo dolls are pricy.

As least old Chuckie was there to lend a hand.

[hellahighwater]

[ oh hey, it's ms has-not-been-appearing-in-this-afterlife

Chloe, who has been keeping a fair distance from Jack, hears mention of voodoo dolls and it's like something in her snaps. She hauls ass over to Jack and swings a punch at... Well. A rather sensitive area that—



it's the dick. Chloe is trying to punch Handsome Jack in the dick. ]

[guffawsungraciously]

How much did that have to do with the ghost that took over your body after your death, by the by.

[heroantagonist]

Oh... That. LeChuck.

[Rubs his neck sorely.]

Is that bastard really walking around in my body? I mean... Yeah, I get wanting to be Jack, who doesn't? But you'd think a partner would mention that at some point.

[guffawsungraciously]

I have to admit, I cannot relate to wanting to be you. But this is the sort of thing you really ought to expect when making a deal with that sort... I am almost surprised he did not take over your body at the start of things.

[leaveittomother]

He probably couldn't do that while Jack was alive. ...That bastard.

[She absolutely sounds like someone broke up with her. To Jack:]

I'd apologize but you did threaten my daughter that week. A good parent does what they need to do.

[heroantagonist]

Pft. Guy could barely form a pair of lips to speak to me when we first met, let alone a pair of hands to strangle me with. Which I'm pretty sure is just some kind of weird ghost thing?

[leaveittomother]

So he just decided to hire an assassin. Which, by the way, you should have seen coming after the scene Yeager made about my knife.